Friday, July 30, 2010

Anticipation is Keeping Me Waiting

Anticipation, anticipation
Is makin' me late
Is keepin' me waitin'.

I have that Carly Simon song stuck in my head. Is it stuck in yours now, too? Oh good. I'm just that kind of generous.

So we're still playing the waiting game on training so we can bring K, now to be known as Kismet, since it seems the most appropriate, home eventually. They told us we'd start training in August because we would be training with the group home foster parents that she lives with (I think that's who is training us, anyway) and everyone was on vacation in July. Okay, well, today is July 30th. The second-to-last day of the month. And has anyone scheduled training for us yet? With August being just 2 days away? No, of course not! Surely, since it's the second-to-last day of the month, people are home from their vacations now, right? Or is it that since it's a Friday, maybe no one's home from their vacations until Sunday. How selfish!

We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway...

I mean, really. Is it so much to ask to be scheduled for training? Am I being unreasonably impatient? We've only been at this whole process since January. And since the whole training process might take us several months to complete, thereby making it quite possibly near December before we can even meet Kismet for the first time, let alone bring her home, am I being unreasonably impatient? I'm ready to get this ball rolling, already. Let's git 'er done!

I'm not exactly famous for being patient. Oh, I know. You read my posts and you think, "Gosh, you've got to be the most patient person on the planet! Look at the people you live with!" And of course, you would be right to think that. But I have been bashed for not being patient. By people who don't know the meaning of the word! But the old saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder? Not always true. Sometimes absence makes the heart wander. Not that I'm saying I'm not anxious to bring Kismet home by any stretch of the imagination. No no no! I'm just, ya know, having a hard time maintaining that same level of enthusiasm. Like knowing you're going to take a long vacation in Europe in a year. It's hard to be excited now, even though it's a great thing to look forward to. But you got a lot of preparations to make in the meantime and can only get excited as you get closer. That's like what this wait is doing to me.

And tomorrow we might not be together
I'm no prophet, I don't know natures way
So I'll try to see into your eyes right now...

I want to meet her. I want to get to know her. I want to bring her home and have her be a part of our family. When we're all joking together and laughing our fool heads off about something or other, I think of her and I think, "She's going to love this family." Coz we're cool that way. No, we're not cool like hipsters or gangsters or trendy rich people. We're nerd-cool. We're dork-cool. Maybe you don't think that's cool but I do. Probably coz I am a dork. But that's okay, coz we're still damn fun. And I want to share that fun with Kismet. She's had such a rough life, she deserves to have fun with a family who will love her. She deserves happiness, joy, laughter, and good times. I want to give that to her.

Anticipation, anticipation
Is makin' me late
Is keepin' me waitin'.

So yeah, I may be impatient but I think it's for a very good reason. I want her to be able to be with us and think:

..these are the good old days.


Anonymous said...

I think it is so amazing ..what you are doing...It does take forever for the process will be worth it...I know quite a few foster families and have lived with one myself...I cannot understand why the system for children services is so slow paced and limited....foster parents are awesome! i cant really say whats on my mind and make a thought work right now..but I am excited for you and your family...and cannot wait for your goal to be accomplished....keeping you in my thoughts...and lucky is this girl you are bringing home! hugs!

Connie said...

Huge hugs! I've not been through the process, but heard it can take some time. I hope it starts soon and is over even sooner! (if that can even be possible) This little girl is so lucky to be gaining you guys as a family!

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